Sincerely

I am sure many of you saw the recent, "Stranger's Kissing" video that did the rounds on the Social Media-verse in the past few days. And perhaps by now you also discovered that this video was in fact fake. Fake in the sense that the people involved were actors and it was an advertisement for clothing... or something. Anyway...

I must confess I didn't watch the whole video, mostly because I don't like things with hype around them and I am skeptical of anything posted on Facebook but also because I wasn't sure if I felt it was actually as beautiful as many people seem to think it was. People seemed enthralled by the idea of two strangers magically connecting in a beautiful moment of intimacy that was so "real" and "profound" and "beautiful"... The irony being that this video was not ANY of those things. Had the artist done the experiment for real, I am not sure what the results may have been but ultimately I wonder if my feelings toward it would be any different.

To me it just seems that everyone is desperate for connection and also desperate to be as "open" to all forms of connection because God forbid you are caught out being a closet conservative. But what struck me as ironic is that in everyone's rush to share this video of "authentic connection" no one stopped to check if it was in fact what it claimed to be... The openness was in some strange  way, a closed-ness. People were open to other people's idea of openness... If that makes any sense.

I guess what I am getting at is not that I have any problem with the video per se, or with people sharing it for that matter. I am also not saying that sharing it was stupid, I have been caught out many times by things I thought were cool that turned out to be rubbish. It's just that there is this idea that this "authentic connection" can be found, one, online (no) and, two, by being intimate with a stranger.... (?).

Firstly, I don't believe that authentic connection can be found on a laptop screen and I also don't believe that people kissing in black and white necessarily equals beautiful.

The most authentic connections I have experienced in my life have been in moments of true feeling, where there has been an honesty of emotion... And often it was very painful. Not beautifully crafted, made-to-look-authentic, fake kissing videos.

So in all of this, for me it's not about the video really, but about being aware that Facebook is mostly full of rubbish, and that authentic connection is to be found out in the real world not on a laptop screen.



Witty sign off.

Is It Just Me Imagining Things Or...

...does every billboard with a picture of a half-naked woman serve to promote a male based perspective on all things, feeding the culture of sex which is perpetuated by unconstrained, sex obsessed men in order to SELL THINGS, making some women believe that they need to look and act like those billboards in order to please men and somehow convincing some women that being half-naked most of the time and being sexually promiscuous is empowering?

The common denominator in all of this? Men are driving the whole show.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me imagining things…

A Pint of Reality: Generation Y reflection

Today I had one of those moments where I was able to articulate exactly what was in my head. This kind of moment only really occurs once I am halfway through my first pint. And this moment was no exception!

A friend and I were discussing the Generation Y article that was trending recently and pondering on how true it is that our generation suffers from this sense of disillusionment with reality.

I felt compelled to capture the gist of our conversation here.

Speaking as a Catholic, I want to believe that I am striving to live my life in accordance with the teachings of Christ and that I am not pursuing worldly things. However! Deep down inside me I am really saying, “Man, I want to be great!”

I have an innate desire to be remembered, to make history, to have people read my poems and stories and feel that my short time on earth has made an impact. I desire purpose.

Perhaps it goes back to old Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Many of my generation in the first world, myself included, don’t understand the reality of working to survive. Our parents have been there to provide for us and we know that when push comes to shove we can put on a sad face and go back home and we’ll get a cup of tea and a Marie Biscuit.  To me this is what differentiates us from our folks and even more, from their folks. Once they were out of the home that was it! They were out in the cold, forging their own way. And to have a job, to be putting bread on the table was enough of a success, enough of a purpose to fulfill them. As my friend stated in our discussion people were having children much earlier back then. Now we have all this faff time and it makes us think too much. It makes us terrified to commit to anything in the fear that it will be the “wrong” thing and won’t give us that warm fuzzy feeling inside that makes us know we’re on the right track.

So where does this leave us?

People who are great, I believe, are people who go against the current culture.  People who choose to go their own way, not content with the status quo. That’s what we’ve heard, over and over and that has “cursed” our thinking as a generation. Because we ALL want to be that person. We want to bring down the system, bring down the man, save the planet, write a blog!

But we’re not listening are we?

It’s true. To be great we need to go against the culture. But the culture is screaming, BE GREAT!

And here’s the rub.

I believe that to be great in our generation we have to choose to not be great. We need to embrace anonymity. Be an unknown saint.

Be okay with no one ever knowing your name. Just be a blip in the chasm of the millennia.

  

I don’t think that anyone who was ever of any significance chose to be great. They had a belief which they pursued with dogged perseverance. They never said it was fun or fulfilling. Someone else told us that.

Thinking like that is terrifying. But that’s because it’s been hammered into us that we’re special and unique and important and everyone should care what we have to say.

I note this theme in the story of my life recently, with Pope Francis and the way he is leading the Church toward a simpler way of existence, a more Christ like existence. There is a truth in this way of thinking. Sure enough we find it in Matthew 20 verse 17, "So the last will be first, and the first will be last.".

I believe that once our generation can let go of the DESIRE to be great. We will find fulfillment  That is the way to break our disillusionment. We've been told that’s giving up.

I think that’s nonsense.

If our goal is to be happy and this obsessive pursuit of greatness is supposed to achieve that goal, it’s not working.

So, be okay with being unknown. That is what I am striving for in my own life and for the most part failing miserably. Perhaps I’m failing by writing this blog. I am telling myself if no one reads it then that’s okay. The pleasure was in the writing.

I’ll work on it.

Ozymandias

I met a traveller from an antique land

Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,

Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown

And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.

And on the pedestal these words appear:

`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,

The lone and level sands stretch far away".

Percy Bysshe Shelley

Cape Town Without a Car

Looking out onto Main Road, Rondebosch from a coffee shop window I reflect on the past 6 years and 10 months that I have lived in Cape Town. I’ve been told it takes five years of living in this City Beneath the Mountain before you can be considered a “resident”. So I hope I've made the cut! Interestingly enough, in just over a week I’ll be leaving these shores for new beginnings in London and so I feel that now’s the time to write this article taking from all that I’ve gleaned in my time here.

I find an interesting paradox in Cape Town. It’s such a diverse beautiful place. An amalgamation of different creeds and cultures create a beautiful tapestry of people around the city. Yet, at the same time, it feels very segregated, with the groups sticking very much to themselves. From what I can see the suburbs remain very much race orientated and huge class divisions seem to exist. Now, let me stop here and say I am not an expert on South African history, nor am I an anthropologist or sociologist so all of my theories are really just speculations from what I have observed.

Perhaps these divides are normal and inherent in all cities. I can’t comment on that but I feel there is large scope in Cape Town for these lines to become more blurred and as less rigid as they seem at the moment.

One of the ways I feel that this can come about is through public transport. Among the middle class in Cape Town there is a definite stigma against public transport. Some of the reasons for this are perhaps valid: safety, reliability, efficiency, and accessibility. Concerns in these areas are real but I feel many people assume these problems exist without checking out the reality for themselves.  Thousands of South Africans rely on public transport every day to get to work. If there really is “no good public transport in Cape Town”, how do all those people manage?

In my 5 years in Cape Town I have maxed out the public transport system. I had a car for the first three years but after that, I’ve had to make a plan. As a result I feel I can give some advice and input aimed at the young middle class as to how you can and should maybe consider ditching your car and using the public transport available.

I must warn you that this is very Southern Suburbs biased as that’s where my experience lies.

So what are the options available? What modes of public transport exist? Let's start with where I started:

The Train

Good old Metrorail. From my experience, this is the most utilised form of public transport by the middle class. Many a student has used these yellow and grey trains to get into town and a lot of people who work in the CBD rely on them too. Perhaps a reason the train has less of a stigma attached to it is because they have a “First Class” and a “Third Class”. Anyone who has taken the train will know that the difference between these two “classes” is really the difference between a little bit of cushioning on your seat or not. For a couple of rand more you’re really paying for space as the poorer commuters who are in majority will always take the cheaper option. Watch any train come by at rush hour and notice how one end of the train seems to be sardined with people, doors open and limbs hanging out of every window.

Capetonians seem to view the train as dangerous. While this may be true for the lines that go out to the townships and the cape flats, the Southern Line (Cape Town to Fishhoek) is relatively safe as is the Northern Line (to Bellville). It contains all the risks one would encounter on any train system in any part of the world: pick pockets, panhandlers, the occasional chancer who will try a grab and run but if you keep your possessions close you’ll be fine. I took the train every day for two years when I was in college and managed. Where safety became a slight issue was walking around the CBD once I was off the train but the city has greatly improved public safety in the last few years and now I find it quite pleasant to walk up Adderly Street or across The Parade. Keeping vigilant and walking with purpose is always recommended!

Trains operate on a ticket system, available in single (one way) or return. You buy your ticket at the nearest station specifying your destination and which “class.” Eg: Single to Cape Town, first class. The price will vary depending on where you are coming from. Keep your ticket handy because they do random checks on the train and so don’t try your luck buying a cheaper ticket and riding first class because they will bust you and they can be quite nasty about it.
It’s also possible to buy weekly and monthly tickets.

Pros of using the train:

•           It’s reasonably fast because it bypasses traffic
•           Trains are cool
•           If you take it to fishhoek it goes along the coast.
•          Cheaper than a car

Cons of using the train:

•           It’s prone to delays
•           It gets packed
•          Out of peak hour, trains are irregular
•          Metrorail virtually stops functioning when it rains

Golden Arrow

GABS, the Golden Arrow Bus Service has been around since 1861 starting off as a horse drawn tram service between Sea Point and Cape Town. I only really started using Golden Arrow buses in the last year or so but I’ve found it to be a very useful and underutilised service. An amazing thing about it is that you can get almost anywhere with a Golden Arrow bus. It was news to me but you can get to Kirstenbosch from Cape Town using the bus, Hout Bay via Camps bay and the Northern Suburbs. GABS services most areas of the Cape Peninsula. For those commuting into town from the Southern Suburbs you need only find a bus stop marked by a blue sign with a bus on it and usually next to a bus shelter structure. Wait there and soon enough a Golden Arrow bus will come along. If you’re on main road it will definitely be heading into Cape Town. You can confirm this by the destination written on the front of the bus. The price will vary depending on where you get on. Some of the main stops for Golden Arrow are Retreat, Claremont, Wynberg and Mowbray, so don’t be alarmed if your bus to town turns off main road at some point. When I lived in Mowbray I’d wait for the bus to town on Klipfontein road. GABS is also pretty safe, especially along the main road route. It runs till 9 o’clock at night too but I wouldn’t recommend taking the bus all the way into Cape Town that late on your own. Tickets are available at the main stations but can also be bought from the driver as you get on.

Like the train, weekly and monthly tickets are available.

A little bonus tip when taking the bus is make sure you’re hanging on when you get on initially because the bus pulls away as soon as you step in and it’s easy to lose your balance!

Pros of using GABS:

• Cheap
•  More efficient than Metrorail
•  Runs later
•  Safe
•  Services many areas

Cons of using GABS:

•   Slower than the train because of traffic and multiple stops
•   Drivers are not always the greatest

Minibus Taxis

Now here’s a controversial mode of transport! I must say I have mixed views on the taxis. They perform a valuable service but they are flipping annoying for drivers and commuters alike!

First of all, they are perfectly safe, especially on the main routes. The government has done a lot in recent years to formalise the taxi industry although this process has been controversial in itself. Keep in mind taxis are businesses, either small scale, owned by a driver or large scale, an owner who may have a few taxis under him. It is not in their best interest to rob their passengers! But the old advice still stands. Avoid getting into an empty taxi.
A great thing about the taxis is that there is always one available. You’ll rarely have to wait, unless it’s a weekend in which case you’ll find a taxi no problem but then you’ll wait in the taxi because they will want to fill up with passengers before they move on.

It can be an experience the first few times you take one but once you learn the ropes it’s quite an easy way to get around. Some tips and tricks I’ve learned in taking taxis are:

• Have your money handy. It usually costs a minimum of R6 (at the time of writing) to go most places. Have your coins out and ready before you get on. The reason for this is that usually the taxi is crowded and so you will struggle to get your wallet out once inside.
• Know where you are going and communicate this to the passengers around you. People sit in a taxi according to where they are going. If you know you are only travelling a short distance, allow the other passengers to get in first or ask for a seat closer to the door. There is nothing worse than being in the back right corner when you need to get out of a packed taxi.
• Learn the landmarks. Taxis stops work on a landmark basis, eg: Rondebosch pick and pay. Klipper road, Mowbray Shoprite. Supermarkets are usually a good reference.
• Say your stop out loud when paying the Gaatchi and then again as you approach your destination. 

Once you know the basics it’s a useful mode of transport. Although it is my least favourite form of the three mostly because they drive like lunatics. 

Pros of using the taxis:

• Cheapest form of “public transport”
• Always available
• Always interesting!

Cons of using the taxis:

• Crazy drivers
• Crowded
• The occasional rude Gaatchi

Those are what I consider to be the three main modes of public transport in Cape Town. Using them is possible and all it takes is just trying it out a few times before you’ll have it waxed. One can also get around Cape Town on foot, on a bike or using your friends but it’s nice to be able to get places without having to bother your mates!

Overall, it’s about using these modes of transport confidently and with purpose. Even though I advocate their use and consider them safe, discretion is advised. Be smart, keep vigilant at all times. The same advice would apply anywhere in the world.

I hope that from reading this some of you will consider trying out the train or jumping on the bus. It really opens up Cape Town and gives you a chance to experience the cultural diversity which exists.

We live in a beautiful city and it’s worth exploring.

Image credits:

http://www.southerncrossroads.info/blog/cape-town%E2%80%99s-southern-train-line/

http://you.co.za/photopost/more-reliable-than-golden-arrow-bus-service-that-is-on-strike/

http://www.lomography.com/magazine/locations/2012/07/30/v-and-a-waterfront-cape-town

http://www.capeintern.com/cape-town-map/